Leven, Fife


Yes, you guessed. I am the skinny b*tch in this story. I’m in my 30s and I’m single. Been single for a while and I have my reasons for not settling down. Plenty options out there for everyone but depends on us if we want to settle for less than we deserve.

I don’t give myself names, so first I feel like explaining where skinny b*tch comes from. Obviously skinny comes from my size, but b*tch comes from other’s perception of how divine would be to be a size 8. I have been called so by two of my friends when we had a banter about me not going out with them, as I would ‘steal’ all the nice good-looking guys in the pub. And it’s true. Being a size 8 gives you a lot of opportunities. Every morning, after I wake up, I look down the window and I see a dozen of men, standing in line, waiting for me to pick one. And they are all good and nice looking. Sadly, that’s just a fantasy. Being skinny doesn’t make it so easy. Actually, being a size 8 is a big disadvantage and let me tell you why.

Was a time when I used to be asked for my phone number at least 3 times a day by random guys. At that point, in my innocence, I thought that was a good thing. I didn’t know who I was as a whole being. We’ve been brought up in a society, where being skinny seems to be a sort of necessity for a woman to find a man. And for many years I have lived with that idea. Sadly, a lot of women still live in that box. Now…things have changed, at least for me. But I had to go through a lot of disappointments to understand this. I’m sure you know the feeling. So, if you’re thinking that being skinny gives you a chance to find your man, you’re far away from the truth.

Most of the times, the cheap lines of a horny, unfulfilled man make me sick. I can’t even be bothered to tell him to f..k off as that became a huge consumption of energy for me. You see, being skinny is not all in life. I am, and I can promise you this.

When I go out, I can feel all the sleazy looks in the back of my head. Feeling their dirty thoughts. And that’s not all. Not trying to say all the men are the same, but some of them want a skinny babe for a night or two. That’s the majority’s beliefs. Because all the magazines and films they see. All successful men have pictures with well looking skinny bitches, just like me, holding their arms. And if they are not successful yet, at least they’ve done the first step in achieving this, by having a nice accessory next to them. That looks good for their portfolio. Some of them will treat their girls like a key ring, showing off when going out, having that cocky attitude. So yes, are you still dreaming of being a skinny bitch? If you still do, I’ve got more for you.

people-1105593_640Imagine yourself going for a night out with your girls. You would expect to enjoy each other’s company, having a drink and a banter.  But you can’t. Cause at one point, will come a guy, initiating a conversation by saying how hot looking you are. And he won’t go away too easily. He’s determined he will go in your pants by the end of the night. And he starts talking about his possessions, thinking you’re a sort of nuisance Barbie doll that can’t have a carrier and a successful life by her own. barbie-2517554_640And…that puts you off. But you’ll get used to that at one point and you’ll start rejecting all the guys. Even the good ones. Because that happened to you so many times. And that made you to lose your faith, that one day, a good man will come and tell you how beautiful your soul is. What an authentic smile you have. And how amazing you are in a holistic way.

No matter for how long you haven’t been in a relationship or had sex, you don’t want a superficial man. You know you deserve more than that.

How would I know that? I am a skinny bitch, and everything comes easy in life.

I know one-night stand won’t make you feel more confident and you may end up broken. You’ll want respect and appreciation for what you are, your whole being, not just for the way you look. You’ll want to be seen in all your aspects, not being used by a guy who has seen too many Hollywood films. You’ll want to hug someone after being intimate and not leaving you in an empty bed or, worse, sending you home after, just because he’s too afraid of commitment. eye-3339668_640You’ll want a good morning text and a true laudation, like how amazing or funny you are, but coming from a real man with healthy mind-sets. Because you worked hard to be who you are today, and all the superficial compliments won’t touch you. You’ll be sick of men trying to take advantage of you, and you’ll start doubting every nice things said by a man, thinking there is always a reason behind. You’ll be scared to put a dress on, knowing that is a huge possibility that a guy will come and start with all that bull*hit.

You better start loving your curves, cause a real man won’t look for 90-60-90 shape. A real man will want a real woman, with curves or not. A real man will know he’s not perfect and he won’t ask for perfection in her. The man you’re looking for won’t treat you like a key ring, being proud when all his friends will envy him for the new achievement. The real man will want you for what you are. And you deserve a real man. Because you are not just a body. You have a beautiful soul who’s longing for a true connection.

You don’t have to believe me. Go to the gym, go on a healthy diet, lose some weight, be a skinny b*tch and walk in my shoes. You’ll see how sad it is when you’ll find out you’re more than a body. Wish you to love yourself the way you are. Wish you to value yourself not by comparing yourself with the models from the magazines covers. Wish you to embrace your inner child that needs so much love.

With love,

a skinny b*tch

Thanks for images

& thanks to my girls with curves