Leven, Fife

I had a revelation today, after 4 years of horse riding. I was close to give up because I felt there was no progress. The last horses I’ve been riding were stubborn and I had to put in a lot of effort to keep them going. One- hour lesson was so tiring, ending up not just exhausted, but sore all over my body from kicking and trying to make them move forward.

I found this experience so applicable in daily life, that made me feel would be a shame to keep it just for myself.

I think there is no such a thing like a bad rider or bad horse. There is a bad mix between two beings who share different ideals.

The five bad rides some of us have to go through until finding the perfect match

  1. The pony rides. Is nothing bad in having some fun, but a pony won’horse-1790117_1920.jpgt jump as far as you expect. Will jump as far as he can. You won’t obtain performances with a ‘small horse’. Same in a relationship. If you’ll try to settle near a ‘boy’ and not a man, you’ll end up playing the mummy role. Because that’s what a pony is looking for. You may want to be careful with the ponies because, being frustrated of their height, they’ll be so bloody noisy. They’ll go out and tell all his friends what a ride he had with you. Louder he speaks, greater he thinks he is. Just like the small dogs. Barking the loudest but never have the gut to bite. If you have high standards, and you want something serious, you’ll be wasting your time with this pony, because he will never become a competition horse.
  2. The lazy horse rides. horse-1006376_1920.jpgYou’ll have to kick and smack for making him even walk. Sometimes will counter, but that’s just to impress. And when that happens, will make the trick, because you’ll think he’s got potential. We all have potential, but sustained practice will transform it into success. In his counter, he will cut the corners and you may fall. Trying to make him move forward involves a lot of effort and you will end up exhausted. And way behind from where you should be. Fighting for his dreams will make you forget yours.
  3. The stud rides. horse-943001_1920-1.jpgOh, and what a ride. He’ll gallop, jump and he will even give you cuddles. He’s a sort of pony, but taller and more trained. This stud is full of stamina, unstoppable, unpredictable. His favourite thing is to jump over obstacles. And his favourite jumps are over the fence, where grass seems greener. By hopping over the fence so often, he might get stuck in someone else’s garden and you may end up broken. Don’t blame yourself for that. He won’t be leaping at the height of your expectations and won’t go for a real competition, until he would decide so.


  1. The ride on that horse that anyone would kill to jump He looks and moves amazing. He will do all what you want, he’ll jump at your first bat of eyelashes. But you just can’t connect. There is no team work. He feels so dull, too lovely to be loved. You won’t find any challenge. Too easy. And you’ll end up so bored. Your friends will like him, and your mum will adore him, but will they be sleeping in the same bed at night? Will your mum have to spend the rest of her days seeing him naked in the shower? If it’s nothing there, move on, who said love can be learned, was probably talking about something else.


  1. The ride on that horse who will win every competition. horse-3433879_1920.jpgHe jumps so high and he will gallop so fast that will make you feel so tensed, being afraid of not falling over. He’s hyper active. He will want higher poles because he can. But you’re not ready. You may feel ready and willing to accept the challenge, but in a longer run, your self esteem will go down the hill, thinking is something wrong with you for not keeping up with his speed. And it’s not. We all evolve in our own rhythm.One day you will find the horse who, the same as you, has been preparing for this ride. He will be tailor made for you. They call this twin flame. He may have been a stud one day, but, at this time, he finds the grass over the fence as being just grass, and he will know, by now, the consequences of hopping over. He is not perfect but is perfect for you.

    On that day you will be so grateful for not giving up and everything will feel so natural, so synchronistic. On that day, you will understand that all the bad rides you had before were to make you to appreciate the perfect ride. And that’s how unicorns appeared.


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For the perfect ride, we’ll have to meet halfway, to compromise, to slow down or to speed up, to adjust our timing until gets perfect. Both, the rider and the horse, will have to make this effort, otherwise, one will be left behind whilst the other will be far away.

To conclude:

– don’t dream at other’s horse, because they make a good team by being together;

– don’t settle near one of the above-mentioned horses if you want the perfect ride;

– don’t settle with a horse just because society plays in teams;

– don’t settle until you feel you’re ready for a long ride;

– don’t be afraid of being judged of trying all the horses in the school, because is rare to find your horse from the first.

To my friends, R and M, with love.

Thanks for images