You’ve been lost and that’s ok. It’s all about expanding. And that takes time to analyse, incorporate and move further with the new knowledge you gained.
When something BIG happens, no matter how much prepared we are, it will radically change our lives. And then… we start loosing ourselves. Imersing into ‘problem’, giving it a meaning with all our understanding, creating a story to believe in. Because this is how we function as rational people. Our self-defence mechanisms will keep us safe from cruel truth, accepting what is convenient for us. That’s part of the emotional healing process.
We first distract ourselves from the problem, doing anything else just not to have time to digest.
When we get tired of running, we become so exhausted that we have no other choice but to deal with the ‘problem’.
Then is the time of confrontation.
We check in with ourselves, the way we feel, blaming ourselves or others for the way we feel. Trying to find the ‘criminal’. This time is one of the hardest. We feel depressed, angry, anxious. But it’s a fundamental step in healing process. Some of us will get out to the light without any help, some of us will want support. And there’s no need to feel embarrassed. It’s exactly like going to the doctor when we get an infection. But this time our thinking is infected. With negative thoughts.
Acceptance and resilience are the next steps.
After we’ve dealt with our thoughts, we got to understand them, we find that there is no other way but to accept the facts as they are. The ‘problem’ is consumed and there is no other way but moving forward. We’ve already understood that there is no practicality in living in the past. The tax man won’t wait for us forever.
And that’s the time of big relief. We leave the baggage behind, we start building our confidence back, getting back in loving and mothering ourselves.
The re-birth is the final and the first stage in becoming who we need to be.
We’ve already buried the old us under many scars that will heal with time.
We won’t look back to feel the pain again, but we’ll revisit the past to empower ourselves, to remind that nothing can hold us down. We’ll proudly and confidently wear those scars as badges, knowing that no one and nothing can stop us from being who we want to be.
You may find yourself in any of that stages and want to remind you that is ok. We all go through them, but we feel it differently.
All that I want is to ask yourself, no matter where you feel you are…
Who would you be if you could be anyone?
And how would that make you feel?
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I thought about it many times and I couldn’t have an answer that completely I would be somebody else. Yes, I would like different things from others, like hair, body, money, but I wouldn’t want to lose my identity. And after many many thoughts I realised that even the smallest change would’ve been in my life before, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Yes, I do have low self esteem and not so much confidence, but I am me and day by day I’m trying to like myself.
Hi Sandra! I’m not talking about losing identity. The question was meant to make you imagine your perfect vision of yourself. We could try in our next session a powerful visualization exercise and my message will be clearer than. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! ❤