Leven, Fife

The way you’re coping with life reflects the amount of time you spend on your healing.

Life gets busy and we are caught in so many activities, not finding too much time to rest& digest.

We must have a great body, therefore we sign in to our local gym or we make other sports a priority.

We must expand our understanding, broadening our horizons, therefore we must travel, must read, must do as much as we can do.

We must go to work, to make our bosses proud of our performance, therefore we work long hours. We must keep our partners happy therefore we do a lot of things to please them, even if that takes time and way too much energy.

We call that exploring, gaining knowledge, bettering ourselves, being hardworking individuals, being loving and caring. What do we get from all of that? And who says that’s the only way?

Don’t get me wrong here, we may have different reasons for doing the things we do, but if what’s written above irritates you, you may want to spend some time thinking why it affects you.

We must do all these things if not what?

Afraid of being rejected we must be perfect. Belonging, being accepted and loved are ones of the most basic needs we have as humans. In order to survive, we need to include ourselves in a ‘tribe’ who will offer us protection. Coming from a place of fear, we join the wrong ‘tribes’, we loose our identity to suit that ‘tribe’s’ needs. And there is how we end up asking who we are and what we are supposed to be doing.

By changing the perspective, understanding that we can bring value from being authentic, we may join the right ‘tribes’, who appreciate who we are, the way we are. And this comes from a place of love. For going to that place, we need to understand our fears, to fall in love with ourselves first, by accepting who we are with all our flows and imperfections.

Musturbation- is a term that belongs to the american psychologist Albert Ellis who emphasizes on how all these musts actually prevent us from living freely, limiting ourselves from being who we are, behaving in a way that we think others expect us to behave.

If you want to undertake the path of self realisation, I want you to focus on the end result. To visualise yourself succeeding, living free of all these musts, being authentic and loved for who you truly are.

The journey of self discovery is not an easy one. It’s a long battle which involves giving up patterns, people, things that will no longer serve you. There will be people who will judge you, accusing you of changing, but take that as a compliment. That only means you’re changing and the one you become, the authentic you, doesn’t need to belong, deserves to belong.

Don’t be afraid to ask for support, as you may have a lot of scars and ‘unhealed’ wounds underneath. Based on your beliefs, you may want to join a support group, to go to counselor, a psychologist, a coach, a priest, a shaman, an energy healer or to the ‘wise person’ in your community. Feels much better when you have a companion in your journey. And makes the journey smoother.