That’s one of my favourite questions to ask. And I’ve noticed others like it as well.
The thing about ‘whys’ is… how we use them.
I’ve programmed myself to understand why things are happening the way they are, why people do the same mistakes over and over again. I’m including myself in this category, doing the same mistake, just to convince myself that I’m not good enough.
There is a little saboteur playing in the background wheter we are aware of it or not. Maybe, sometime in the past we didn’t feel being enough for our parents, teachers, lovers, and that ‘motto’, is following us everywhere we go.
Have you ever noticed a repetitive situation in your life such as getting involved with the wrong people, ending up in toxic relationships or playing small? Why?
In the moment we understand why this is happening we are able to look for something different. And that’s the moment when we start living the life we really want.
Let me explain myself here. You are where you decided to be. That choice belongs to you even you are aware of it or not. If you’re not happy with where you’re standing at, whether is your work, relationships, financial situation, or personal grouwth, read this carefully. This is reminder for myself as well.
There is a small voice in your head which tries to keep you safe.
I call him Johnny. He wakes up everytime he perceives something as being dangerous. He is good, he wants my best. But he sees danger in any situation that hasn’t been experienced before. He tries to keep me in the box, because the box has 4 corners and that’s my safe ground. What’s outside the box can be harmful. That’s one of the major reasons why, most of us choose to stay safe, playing small.
This ‘Johnny’ wakes up as well when we encounter a situation that we’ve been through before. He’s attached to the emotional outcome.
Let’s say you had been in love and you’ve been cheated. If the cheater had blonde hair, you’re mostly likely to go for brunette next time.
Our brain creates shortcuts to make it easier in the future. You don’t have to learn each day how to hold a spoon in your hand and how to chew, right?
So, going back to Johnny, everytime you’ll feel you’re falling in love, he activates the self defense mechanisms. Love=suffering=death. You never died, but the pain you felt was close to death, isn’t it? And that’s how the runners are born.
So that either paralyses you or puts you on defensive mode, looking for reasons why not to fall in love, creating stories in which you start to believe. Therefore you’ll fly or fight, until someone comes and change your stories, makes you feel safe to jump outside your box. But that’s another story for another time.
Johnny is real. If you don’t believe me, have a look to what neuroscience says.
Going back to the title of this article, ‘why?’, I just wanted to remind you to ask yourself this life changing question, as often as you can. Because in this era, we understand the thunders, we do not worship them, don’t we? 😉
Replace ‘why is this happening to me?’ with ‘how did I make this happen?’. Get your power back over your chimp primitive mind. You don’t have to play small to be safe. You don’t have to accept things that don’t make you happy. You can choose how to live your life. Start by knowing yourself and soon enough you’ll realise what a beautiful thing you are.
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