In one of my coaching sessions, me and my client were trying to overcome a limiting belief. I find it quite common to feel powerless, vulnerable and weak. And there comes the question. When did that started?
By brushing the past, he recalled an event that seemed a stepping stone to his ‘failure’. A misunderstanding between him and the ‘big boss’ left a mark dip inside which followed him for more than 10 years. The voice in his head saying that he wasn’t good enough stopped him to get his power back and to get that success he used to have so easily before.
Well, most of us were bullied in the past. And some of us still playing small without even knowing it.
Overcoming the ‘playing small’ syndrome is fundamental for our evolution.
Take what’s below as an extra. Don’t replace seeing a therapist with what you read on internet. That could be dangerous. Overcoming trauma is a long process and requires a lot of support.
What came up from that session was that we, in this moment, are more evolved, more knowledgeable comparing with who we were when the event has happened.
We, in the past, were ‘virgins’, naive, and trustful. But NOW, we are 2 different people. And what if our bullies weren’t actually our enemies? Who taught us better that life can be tough and we need to adapt to the circumstances? We walked forward with the knowledge that we have to do something about it. To prove them wrong. To prove we are capable.
And there are so many valuable people, who stood up, sharing their stories of how they overcame the shame of not being good enough.
That’s why the lyrics touch our hearts, that’s why we cry when we see movies. We share our wounds, we help eachother, we communicate on an emotional level.
Our problem is that we get attached to our emotions and feelings.
We’ve been forced to grow up, to move to a different level. That’s growth, that’s evolution.
📌 the ‘I’ve been bullied’ turns into ‘I was unexperienced and I had to learn that so I could do whatever was required to survive’, I proved myself once more I can; now we’ve learned our lesson, we know we have a voice, we can stand up for myself so any bully that may come, we know exactly how not to be.
📌 we come to the understanding that ‘bullies’ have their own insecurities and even them don’t know how to handle them;
📌 when we understand that NOW we
are stronger and wiser because we’ve been bullied,
….we change the feeling of hate to gratitude. That’s alchemy. That’s transforming. That frees us from our attachment to the past.
We are not children anymore. We have knowledge. And knowledge is power. When we are aware of what we know and how much experience we gained so far, do we still need to play small?
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