We are all aware of life not being fair on us all the time. We’re dealing with situations that are out of our control and no matter how hard we try, sometimes we can’t prevent a disastrous outcome. The climate, the way of others respond, the decease of a beloved one, a break up and so on. But what can we do? How can we stop feeling the pain, the grief? No matter what your feelings are just now, there is a way of feeling differently. And all starts with you.
It won’t be easy to get out of the matrix, to fight all the programmes imposed by society, culture, religion. But it will be tremendously rewarding. When you realise your God like powers, when you realise you’re in fact free, your suffering will diminish or disappear. Some call that place heaven and that place can be achieved here, on Earth.
I’ll share with you 5 steps that helped me to come to self realisation and this is one of the many ways of how you can achieve it.
Live more in the present. This practice takes time. We are programmed to think of the future, to seek stability and comfort. And that’s why we end up in jobs that give us a status, good money and financial stability. Or take a look at your relationships. May them be romantic relationships, partnerships or friendships. What do they offer you? Are they rewarding you as you would like? Or are they giving you a so called stability that can be taken at any times?
There is a false concept of safety. There are people who always feel safe and people who can never feel safe in the same circumstances. Let me be more specific. Safety is a concept that allows us to feel protected and no matter what, we can expand in that safe bubble. But how thick is that bubble? And what’s beyond that bubble?
Our brains are intelligently created to keep us safe, to prevent us from suffering and death. Everytime we try to be or to achieve more, they will send messages similar to real threats. Will send us back to that illusory bubble that keeps us safe. In the end…how safe is your job, how safe are your relationships? Sometimes we invest too much time and energy in something that gives us a false feeling of security. And that’s how we end up exhausted, bored and always looking for something that we cannot explain.
3. Taking responsibility
There comes a time when we dramatically change, when turn into grown ups. As children we are allowed to make mistakes and the repercussions aren’t so harsh. Because our mistakes come from a sence of unknowing. And comes that time when we repeat the same mistakes but in a slightly different form and we are sanctioned, we end up suffering, promising ourselves we’ll never love or allow people to taking advantage of our kindness. We close ourselves in that bubble that only prevents us from good things. Maybe it’s time to review the promises we’ve made to ourselves and instead, to set up stronger, healthier barriers. Why not using that experience to our advantage?
4. Set healthy boundaries
Some of our beliefs encourage us to be selfless, open and helpful. But how healthy is that?
Do you allow anyone to enter your home? If so, why would you do differently when comes about your heart?
And here is your time to step into your real power and make some choices. Being slefless and helping others is a honorable thing to do. But how realistic is that? Do you have enough resources like time and money to ‘save’ everyone? Review your barriers as you are an easy target. Needy people will be drawn to you as moths to the light. And you may wonder why you encounter the same kind of people. When something becomes a pattern you may want to ask yourself why. When you want desperately to help other people, ask yourself why you do want this? Everyone wants an helpful friend, but do you want to be accepted for what you can give or for who you really are?
5. Save yourself before going to save others.
To make myself clear here, saving is used in a pejorative way. People don’t need to be saved. They are where they are as a result of their choices. They wouldn’t be there if that wasn’t serving them in a way or another.
If you want to offer your support, there are many ways of doing it in a healthy manner, but that’s another story.
What we do to or for others is a reflection of what we would like others to do for us. When we go out there wanting to save others, we secretly want to be saved. But do we actually need a saviour? Or rather do we need to make healthy choices, to set some boundaries, to allow the right people to come to us?
Love yourself unconditionally, how you would love your parents, children or your spouse. Eat healthy, exercise, read a good book. Do exactly what you would like your beloved ones to do. I never heard of a child judging their parents for reading a book, having a hobby or thriving to be happy.
Before that, we need to do some inner work. If you want more love, you may want to start loving yourself so you can let others know how to love you. If you want more money you may want to offer greater services or better quality products. If you want to fill the emptiness inside, you may want to be more of who you truly are, without fearing to be judged. The Universe never lets someone unrewarded.
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