Leven, Fife

Cheap things don’t need too much protection. That’s why posh shops have security guards and the corner shops don’t.

People who know their worth will always have strong boundaries. And same with the fools, but that’s another story.

We all do silly things some times and we can be perceived as fools. I’m not here to emphasize the difference between us as as individuals, but to make you understand why setting healthy boundaries is necessary for your wellbeing.

If you walked into a famous brand shop, even if only for the experience, you may have noticed that there are security guys at the entrance. They aren’t there to scare the hell out of you, so you don’t even go inside, rather they’re there to prevent people who think they’re entitled to take things for free. They’re welcoming you but let you know you can get in trouble for not paying. When you go to the shop corner, probably the most expensive thing they’ll have is a 40 quid bottle of vodka. And they can afford to lose that.

And so do you. If you value yourself enough, you’ll have your guards up. You can still be warm and inviting but your ‘security’ will let the others know that they’ll get politely escorted out of your life if they’re mucking around. It’s up to you to find a balance between being a mad ninja pushing everyone away or simply living your life in congruence with your values.

On the other hand, if you’re too inviting and accept any behaviour for the sake of love or kindness that says a lot about how much you value yourself.

You see, the price you pay for a thing you buy it’s not just for the product itself. You pay for the branding, design, reviews and exclusivity. If you like expensive products you already know that you pay more for the experience, for the way that thing makes you feel. And we all like to feel special. So if you are willing to pay the price for the experience, why would you lower your standards to make the experience of being with you feeling cheap?

If someone sees your sparkle beyond your healthy boundaries, they’ll have no fear of getting closer to you. They’ll go beyond ‘security’ as they’ll know they have to put more effort in and the final result will worth the price. They’ll be able to know and to understand that your boundaries aren’t there to push them away, but to keep your heart that was once broken, safe.

Start valuing yourself for who you are, for what you achieved, for every time you’ ve been ‘broken’ and you sticked all the pieces back together. Allow yourself to be loved for your scars. And allow yourself to be valued. Who runs away from your standards would probably hit the road at your first flaw anyway.

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