Leven, Fife

I had a flash when I was asking myself how do I feel just now? Yes, one of these conversations we secretly have with ourselves, but rarely admit we would have them.

So, few years ago when I was feeling at crossroads, I’ve seen a shaman for spiritual guidance. Luckily for me, she was a psychiatrist as well and she didn’t put me on meds as I genuinely thought I was losing it. From all questions I had for her, wanting her to sort out my ‘problems’, she gave me one single piece of advice, to ask myself “how do I feel just now?”. And I can encourage you, if you’re a truth seeker, to do the same. Obviously don’t shout out loud in the shopping centre, rather do it quietly whilst closing your eyes. I do trust you wouldn’t do that while driving or operating machinery.

If you feel unhappy and want to feel happier, read these conversation:

– Why do I feel unhappy?

– How else would you rather feel?

– Happy, of course.

– So if you’re not happy, why are you not?

– Because I’m too scared to be unhappy.

– So if you’re unhappy, scared to become unhappy, when would you be happy?

– Whenever I can be.

– So when do you want to be happy?

– Now?

– Then, what stops you?

– The fear of losing happiness.

– So if you’re unhappy, wanting to be happy but having the feat to become unhappy, afraid to losing the happiness that you don’t even allow yourself to feel how would you lose it if you don’t have it?

– I know I can be happy, but what if I become so happy and one day I will feel unhappy again?

You’ll never now until you try it.

Your fear of failure stops you from exploring things, people, places. This fear makes you to stay where it feels safe. When we allow ourselves to fail, we allow ourselves to be happy as well. If we don’t make the smallest step to our happiness we stay stuck in our unhappiness, making our fear to become real.

The scars you have are real. It’s absolutely normal to try to protect yourself from going to the same place again. Yes, I’m talking about those sleepless nights and those lost pounds. Those days that would become weeks of staying locked in your house, those days you’d promised yourself you wouldn’t allow to feel the same again. So if you made that promise, why do you feel the same?