The Phoenix- the Ego and the Suicidal Bird

If you’re not ready for some crazy, mind storming thoughts, you may want to go back to scrolling on social media. I do really care for your time.


Have you ever had something that have meant the world to you and then you lost it in a second? Someone you loved, or something that you worked your ass off for getting it, a treasure? Someone or something that kept you awake at night and woken you up early in the morning? Then we’re on the same page.


We love something so much that we would refuse even the slightest thought of losing it. We get attached to it/ them as we couldn’t live in their absence. The happiness we feel when having the time to spend with them – may them be people, jobs or goals- becomes so addictive.


And then, one day…we lose it all. Don’t want to crush your dreams, just want to remind you how blessed you are for all your losses. If you just lost someone, it would probably make no sense, may seem even offensive, but I promise, one day, if you want, it will make sense.


My lesson behind my losses is that I never had anything.


I never had a dad, he was in my life, randomly or not, for enough time something/ someone decided to be. You can call it God, time, biological clock or whatever.


I don’t have a job, I am deliberately choosing to go somewhere, to deliver something and to receive something in change. The job was there before me choosing it.


I don’t have a partner. I choose him and he chooses me for whatever reasons each one has.


I don’t have a mind. Even if I’m writing this, this has been here before. I am a construct of what each one you contributed to. Society, religion, books, thoughts, social media, studies, experiences.


In the end, I have nothing. How sad is that?


If I have nothing, I fear nothing then I lose nothing.


Losing love doesn’t make anyone less loveable. Losing jobs doesn’t make anyone useless. Losing all doesn’t make anyone worthless.


If you lost it all, you are winner. You have nothing, therefore nothing to lose and what remains is to rebirth.


I love working in my coaching practice with people who have dreams of changing the world. They know their worth, they know what they can do, but something stops them just before the apogee. The fear of losing their identity. The fear of losing titles. The fear of losing themselves.


The big question leads to even bigger questions:


What’s actually wrong with us? Why we would like to be something else? And if we want to be something else, how is that possible if we don’t give up to what we are?


If we’re not happy with who we are, if we don’t see the blessings behind the tragedy, if we don’t see the pain as an opportunity to grow, how could we become something else?

Denying? I’ve seen the struggle of denying in many people and it’s not my place to comment on this. But denying what happened and how that affected us, is an extra baggage we have to carry with us, digging and undermining our progress. Sometimes is healthy, sometimes is not.


The ego of being a daughter, a coach or a nurse, a partner or a spiritual being, had no other choice but to kill itself once I accepted, I am none of these.


Through identifying with our position, we lose perspective.

If you are nothing, you can be anything. If you have nothing, you have something to aspire to.


But if you are something, the over inflated ego, will keep you safe in that space which will finally suffocate you.
You’re everything and nothing, both in the same time.

And how the best is saved to the last, if you were nothing, what else could you be?

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Thanks Pixabay.com for images.

One thought on “The Phoenix- the Ego and the Suicidal Bird

  1. I find myself in your words so much… you are very right and I urge you to continue to be an inspiration to the whole world♥️
    Lots of love and hugs xoxo

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